I’ve been courting Miss Hathaway for three years. We were introduced by a common friend and I developed an instant crush. I’m not sure her father would approve, but every few months I manage to get the guts to arrive with flowers to her door.
She has hardly noticed me. The always beautiful and refined Berkshire moves in higher circles surrounded by majesty, hedge fund managers and famous CEOs. She is in the A list of every major club. I watch her flirt with Mr. Cola and go out with Miss Eaton and Miss Ir to chic restaurants. Jealousy is killing me. Her status hasn’t deterred me from trying to impress her. I’ve saved money, I’ve let her known about my business education plans and I’ve even written a letter to her father complimenting his work raising her. All I managed to achieve was to take her out for dinner where she gave me a few B-kisses before dropping her back at home. It was a very expensive night with little results.
But times are changing. Her latest flings are provoking envy among her friends. They say she is uptight, that she is expending money unwisely and confident in her status-quo as the most desired lady in town. Some of her closest friends are turning their back on her. They are just jealous of her success. All the while I’m here waiting for her to notice me, enjoying Eaton’s company in private. But my heart belongs to you Berkshire. I hope one day you look down and bring me up to your A list.
Oh Berkshire, when will you notice me?
Berkshire Hathaway lives in Omaha with her adoptive parents Warren Buffett and Charlie Munger. She’s currently offering her services at $80,000